Syrian Wars 1

Seleucids against Ptolemies

  The Road to Moab, Part One

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Newsflash! War on the frontiers.

Seleucid forces have clashed with General Snopus' defenders in the Moab valley.   General Snopus and the Jerusalem garrison were unduly attacked by the brigands from Syria.
A peaceful caravan was the target of these pirates.  Due to the wisdom and piety of Ptolemy, these aggressors have been routed!


Peaceful caravan carrying medical supplies to Petra. The Ptolemaic forces bring the brigands to task.


General Snopus gives the details of the battle!




Memphis Gazetteer:  General, how did you know the enemy was approaching?

General Snopus: The grand vizier Sossibius ordered us to escort the caravan. 

Memphis Gazetteer:  So you knew where the caravan was, before the Seleucid raid? Did you know what was being carried by the caravan?

General Snopus: These matters are not important to you! We intercepted the raiders near the Moab range as the caravan scattered.  Immediately the cavalry on both sides engaged. Our Thracians dashed out ahead to cover the deployment of the Thureophoroi and the small phalanx battalion.  On the right the well mounted kleruch horse rode towards the caravan to get the treasure.

Memphis Gazetteer:  So there was a treasure in the caravan?  You knew of this before the battle? ...... gurgle... gurp... gasp.

Memphis Gazetteer Reporter (Number Two):  Tell us of the further glorious details of Ptolemy's exalted victory.

General Snopus: The Thracian horse at first drove back the enemy horse archers, but then were shot to pieces by slingers and the mounted devils.  The kleruch cavalry was sniped at by enemy Tarentines, but gallantly rode after them... the Tarentines foolishly turned and were ridden down by Ptolemy's finest cavalry!! Soon the light troops were engaged on both sides.  The Galatian cavalry rode forward only to surge out of position, the enemy politikoi regiment routed them off the field without a blow being struck.

More details:

The phalanx engages near the caravan. Heroic General Snopus stands firm to aggression!


Memphis Gazetteer:  What brilliant moves happened next?

General Snopus: The lines of infantry engaged.  Our valiant thureophoroi and thorakites engaged their mercenaries. It was a bloody scrap. The Seleucid phalanx attacked vigorously, but the kleruch phalanx held and then the enemy phalanx ran off in panic, by the gods!  Soon their mercenaries gave way and their cavalry.  Their lines were in disarray, their general fleeing. Only their criminal army standard bearer held back the rout. 

Memphis Gazetteer:  So were our losses heavy?

General Snopus: No, not a man was lost, none were killed from the cavalry, or foot of the kleruchoi.  Some were injured.  All rallied in good order and protected the caravan as we returned to Jerusalem.  The Cretans are to be rewarded for valor, not only for routing the evil horse archers, but by amazingly holding against the enemy cavalry long enough to secure victory!!

Memphis Gazetteer:  Our reporter talked to your mercenaries and said casualties were heavy amongst them... but err... um... he's dead now, so what does that matter. It seems a grand victory, let us not quibble.

(file footage)

The peaceful Moab Valley, site of the skirmish between the forces of herosim and light against the evil Syrian northern nemesis led by sociopathic devil-dogs. 

More details:

The kleruch cavalry rides hard to cover the left flank after the Galatians flee. General Snopus charges in heroically against the last unit of brigands.


General Snopus: Yes a tidy lesson to the silly Syrians to stay out of Coele-Syria.  Sossibius will be giving a press conference soon.

Memphis Gazette:  Yes the people and the machimoi will be pleased to hear of Ptolemy's victory, and what treasure you recovered.

General Snopus: There is no treasure, but what little there was will be addressed by the Grand Vizier!!


    Bronze Unit Citation           

The Cretan archers are awarded a bronze unit citation for valor at Moab.  Once again they held the flank, against all odds, destroyed the enemy horse archers, held at bay their cavalry in fierce hand to hand combat.  They are the oldest regiment in the army, and will be awarded new shields to commemorate their victory.  Three huzzahs for the Cretans!


These Galatian Cavalry are new figures and made their debut appearance on the home table! Their performance was less than stellar due to incompetant generalship... they are mixed up Old Glory with bits from Warlord and Wargames factory plastics. Yes, Mike, these are the ones you sent me a while ago!




Beautiful beyond all earthly visions, Queen of de Nile, Light of Egypt, Mistress of Memphis, Princess of all princesses, Moon over Miami, Queen of Sheeba, Miss teen-thin sexy Alexandria, Isis wannabee,
Flotsam of Jetsam, Hubba of Hubbas, A-ooogah!!!

The lovely alabaster Queen Arsinoe wishes to personally congratulate General Snopus and his victorious army made yet more fortuitous by the piety and personal shining brilliant wisdom of Ptolemy, brother, lord, protector of the weak, the poor, the unfirm,
the rode hard and put-up wet, the hagard, the distraught, the sad over losing their wallets, the lost in the desert, the clueless, the sagging ones, the hairless, the witless, the toothless.... [lacuna]


the postureless, the meek, the substandard, the [lacuna].......  [lacuna]

[lacuna],  the just get down and dirty, the Hooterless folks in Dayton, [lacuna]



All are guarded and protected by benevolent Ptolemy.

Follow the Seleucid side of the campaign on Paul Rigby's Blog:


Interview with Grand Vizier Sossibius:



Wise Ptolemy speaks:

"The first casualty of truth, is war."



The exalted one, Ptolemy IIII guarantees the veracy of the Memphis Gazetteer's press.
One hundred years of honest, totally truthful, unbiased, state run media excellence

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